Home » My Thoughts and Advice » The Paradox of Letting Go

The Paradox of Letting Go

In college I took a few leadership classes for my minor. One of the classes assigned this amazing book called the The Tao of Leadership by John Heider. I really enjoyed reading the book and looking at how I could apply the ideals to my own life. I remember reading this passage at a time when I needed it the most and as I pulled the book from my book shelf today I thought it was worth sharing. I hope you can learn from it as I did and put the principles in your pocket for use in the future. 
The Paradox of Letting Go
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
These are feminine or Yin paradoxes:
  • By yielding, I endure.
  • The empty space is filled.
  • When I give of myself, I become more.
  • When I feel most destroyed, I am about to grow.
  • When I desire nothing, a great deal comes to me.
Have you ever struggled to get work or love and finally given up and found both love and work were suddenly there?
Do you want to be free and independent? Conform to God’s law; that is how everything happens anyway.
When I give up trying to impress the group, I become very impressive. But when I am just trying to make myself look good, the group knows that and does not like it.
My best work is done when I forget my own point of view; the less I make of myself, the more I am.
When I yield to the wishes of the person working, I encounter no resistance.
This is the wisdom of the feminine: let go in order to achieve. The wise leader demonstrates this.
~ The Tao of Leadership by John Heider
My personal point of letting go was when I was in my final trimester of college. I would have to move out of my apartment in 2 months, and would be without a place to live, without a job, and no real direction. I was frantically applying to entry level positions all over the US trying to get the dream marketing job. I was having professionals look over my resume and taking interview classes. Finally after receiving dozens of no thank you letters I decided to move home and just work for whatever job would take me. That’s when the job of a life time came up. Now all I can do is push forward and work hard but remember to keep things in balance and try not to use too much force. It is funny how things just tend to work out.
Have you had an experience when you let go of a want and it almost materialized over night
How could you use this idea or form of leadership in your business or everyday life?